GUY GETS OUT, JUST IN TIME

I’d been locked up in my cage at the Zoo for six months or more, paying the price for gorilla antics involving improper imbibing and lude interpersonal behaviour. For a primate anyway. My probation ended Sunday morning, September 13, the day of the Roys do-or-die clash with St Bede’s at Trevor Barker.

As soon as the gate opened, I felt like Jake and Elwood leaving ‘The Joint’. I was on a mission from god, and headed due south from Parkville in the direction of Sandringham.

When I exited the Gorillamobile on arrival, the first thing I noticed was a howling north easterly. On entering the ground, it was clear that the wind favoured the southern end, especially if you were on the road side of the ground. A 5 or 6-goal assist I reckon.

I sat in the stand at the Roys end, and cousin Gary plonked himself next to me. The Roys-cum-Reds-cum-Gorillas-cum-Lions kicked into the gale in the opening stanza. My partner-in-crime and I prayed for dogged defence in the face of oncoming opposition and the force of nature.

To a large extent, a 14–0 deficit at the first change was not a bad result. McQuire revealed beautiful hands in the air and in traffic, Kooloos was cool as a cucumber, Tauber a persistent worker, and Ted Clayton doing his best battering-ram impersonation. St Bede’s were at best determined and well supported.

‘Things’ fell apart in the second quarter. We didn't threaten up forward, just broke even in the middle, and despite the wind St Bede’s was able to kick four majors. Gary and I looked and swore despairingly at each other like long-lost lovers. I think he wanted me to leave, like my release from The Joint had caused this whole scenario. It was 39–14 at the main break, St Bede’s way. Something had to change for the Roys to stay alive. 

Live, or die and remain in C Grade.

One thing I do think about a lot in The Joint is forward pressure. Forward pressure might get me out of there eventually, like a gorilla in the mist. But applied to football, it brings the best results. Especially against suspect defences. We hadn’t tested the St Bede’s defence. It was about to receive a full faced assault, even into the wind.

The Laidlaw brothers, cousin Faubel, ‘Whitey’ Minahan crashed in up forward, even despite falling five goals behind. Human wrecking balls. 

Chas Roberts and Bill Clayton dominated the ball ups, and the midfield brigade led by Ted Clayton and Tauber provided the forward thrusts. Blokes like Winstanley and Jordan benefitted.

The Roys kicked six majors into the wind, St Bede’s four with it. The deficit trimmed to 12 points at the final change. The Fitzroy faithful roundly supported the huddle at three quarter time. As did the St Bede’s mob.

The playing group now clearly knew what needed to happen. The same maniacal pressure up forward. Continue to dominate the stoppages. And defend down back like you’ve never defended before. Gary looked at me like there was a touch of hope in his heart.

Well, we got what we wanted. The wind had died down a touch, but the spirit in the hearts beat as strongly as ever. Reckless attacks on the ball and the man, no accounting for injury. The result had to go Fitzroy’s way. St Bede’s was brave. But cut down, lame and lambasted.

Another six-goal quarter, and despite a couple conceded to the opposition which jellied the gorilla legs a touch, the Roys were home. 91–78.

Shenanigans and celebrations on the ground and in the rooms, an ebullient coaching staff led by General Jack Dalton, and a wildly appreciative bunch of Fitzroy Loyals.

So here’s the important bit. Players, don't show up next Saturday against Parkdale waiting for something to happen, for half time to swing things around, for good things to happen just because you want them to. Make those things happen, bring the same level of assault to the contest, and mark my words, the result will come our way.

And let’s face it, promotion to B Grade is one thing, a flag is altogether another. The ultimate.

I had a couple of settlers on the way back to Parkville, and have promised to be of good behaviour to attend again next Saturday.

See you there, Fitzroy Force.
Kisses and hugs
Guy Gorilla